The Fourth Truth: A Life Skills Syllabus
AKA things I keep learning
Hello! I’m Logan. I help people with complex identities craft their own story through workshops, personalized mentoring, and sharing resources.
We just finished graduation season at UCLA. This move from “senior” to “entry-level” or “first year (again)” or the decompression of “well now what?” can be challenging. This is the fourth post in my series on the Four Noble Truths, specifically addressing the class of 2024.
Key points:
The Fourth Noble Truth is a sneaky meta-list of eight considerations.
I discuss how my own undergraduate experience shaped me….
before a little note about my brilliant students this past term.
I’ve outlined sub-tips beneath each of the eight, to be explored in more depth through the summer.
Reminder! The Adoptee and Foster Care Alumni Monthly Meditation is scheduled for June 23rd at 1PM PST. Sign up at the bottom.
The Four Noble Truths
If the Heart Practices give meat and muscle to mindfulness practice, the Four Noble Truths serve as the skeleton.
Life is innately unsatisfactory (dukkha).
and becomes easier and more attainable through practice.
Given the first three, the Fourth Noble Truth provides a system of engaging yourself and others. This map is called “the Eightfold Path” and I’ll be dedicating an article to each over the summer.
Let me just say: don’t let this overwhelm you. This isn’t a list of things to “master.” It’s an integrated, holistic system to think about how to be.
Ultimately: Start where you are and be kind to yourself.
My Undergraduate Graduation
Graduation was my rite of passage from a supportive community of a small liberal arts college into the world beyond.
I attended a school known for being that of Richard Nixon (our rival, Occidental College, claims Barack Obama), a line of terrifying mascots including squirrels and poets, and close relationships with faculty. Dual-enrollment meant I could triple major —Creative Writing, Dramaturgy, and Philosophy—and get an advisor for each.
At Whittier College, my advisors didn’t just teach; they nurtured.
They let me play through interdisciplinary projects. Jennifer Holmes called my found play about systemic oppression “beautiful.” It was Jennifer who said she “respected the ‘Performance Studies’ work” I was doing that set my course for the next 9 years.
They cheered me to a city commendation for my sex education programming and survivor advocacy. Michelle Switzer returned challenging questions about political philosophy that clarified my thinking about love, human sexuality, and all the ways people interface with each other.
They encouraged creative exploration. Tony Barnstone helped me publish my first poem and encouraged my screenplay about lesbian vampire-hunting nuns. His mentorship included introducing me to Billy Collins, Isabel Allende, and microwaved eggs.
Their care—enough to banter with colleagues in other departments—was more than a nerd’s wet dream; it likely saved my life. In contrast to my adoptive upbringing, they showed me kindness is intelligence. The marriage of these ideas is something I’m still re-learning through tools like the Eightfold Path.
Spoiler: I didn’t get this kind of holistic mentorship at NYU. I didn’t get their level of compassion in my doctoral program either. It really was specific to my experience at Whittier and, later, my being a student of the dharma under teachers like Mary Stancavage.
Since graduation, I’ve reached out to them through the years to tell them how much they’ve meant to me. In many ways, I hope to carry on their legacy of critical creativity and enduring kindness, even at a big institution like the University of California, even in my day-to-day interactions.
It’s definitely a practice. But to say the least, they have informed the way I teach.
And now, in 2024
I am impressed and inspired by the class of 2024.
They didn’t get a graduation in 2020.
They are among the first to experience rampant social media use during puberty—shaping their brain development along with personal and social perception.
They are the first class where most children in the US, regardless of gender, had approximately the same limited radius of play growing up. Indeed, according to social psychologist Jon Haidt, they share the same radius as that of 50-60 year-old men. Over-protection in this age of sterility and surveillance, he suggests, has stunted Gen Z’s threshold to take individual and social risks to succeed interpersonally.
And yet, my students were some of the most generous, creative, and mutually-supportive people I’ve met in years, including the previous class (don’t tell the class of 2023). On the last day, one digital writer brought everyone bagels and cream cheese. She even brought butter for folks. A student in my business and social policy course brought a red velvet cake.
They make this world better. Still, the first Noble Truth acknowledges that difficult times are part of being human and, dear friends, the news doesn’t look great. Once we accept these realities, and our role in perpetuating them, we can encourage and build upon the not-so-shitty parts of life.
Like pizza bagels, red velvet cake, and damn good company.
The Eightfold Path and 24 Considerations
The fourth Noble Truth points to the Eightfold Path as a template for practice in daily life. (Yes, this list of four includes a list of eight.)
Traditionally, the Eightfold Path is seen not just as skills but as an integrated way of living that encompasses wisdom, virtue, and attention development. Each aspect is interconnected and supports the others.
What follows isn’t traditional. Rather than a Buddhist reference text, consider it a love letter and the last syllabus I’ll give the class of 2024.
Skillful View
“View” refers to understanding conditionality and contingency. These are foundational lessons you can re-learn everyday.
Everything is perfect. We’re all doing our best. Isn’t that the epitome of ideal?
Everything is interpersonal. Forgive everyone everything AND maintain your boundaries. As Prentis Hemphill writes, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
Everything changes. Except the relevance of this song.
Skillful Intention
“Intention” refers to the orientation of action. Consider this a checklist when at a crossroads. Will [x] lead to…
Greater ease? The most rewarding pursuits involve emotional engagement and loads of doubt, so break things down under a “soft gaze” lens.
Circulated goodwill? Metta is a discipline. Start close to home.
The “bliss of blamelessness”? Build your kindness muscle while knowing mistakes happen. Learn from them, implement change, but don’t sweat being human.
Skillful Speech
WORDS ARE HARD. I’ll provide an acronym from Gil Fronsdal for THINKing about when and what to say in any kind of communication.
Timely: Is now the time to say it? The time can still be “right,” even if belated.
Honest: Lying through active deception or omission isn’t great.
Insightful: Is what you’re saying adding to the conversation or alleviating stress?
(My add: Inquiry: Could what you’re about to state operate better as a question?)
Necessary: Make every word count. Not everything needs to be said.
Kind: Is what you’re about to say kind? To yourself, too?
I’m going to add another letter, “y,” to Fronsdal’s elegant acronym.
You: Are YOU the one to say it? This is a huge one to consider in relation to privilege. Naming your subject position is a great start.
Okay, slay, as one of my game writing students would say. Let’s get THIiNKY.
Skillful Action
“Skillful action” is tied to the Buddhist commitments to practice. Similar to the Commandments (“Thou shalt not”), most translations frame the Buddhist precepts as actions to “refrain from.” I prefer more contemporary, constructive interpretations.
What would it mean if you committed to
Promote life and its unfettered enjoyment? For me, this isn’t a fetus thing, it’s a living in the now thing. Live your life and help others do the same.
Promote sharing and generosity? Fight against isolationist mentalities of scarcity and competition.
Uplift and share wisdom? What else are we here to do other than learn and help others?
Maintain a clear mind? Take caution when engaging things that cloud judgement, like social media and other intoxicants.
Honor relationships, sexual or otherwise? Celibacy and heteronormativity aren’t goals for lay folks; rather, mindfulness of the power within sexual desire. In many contemporary views, Buddhism is queer AF: there’s a transgender Bodhisattva (akin to a saint) of compassion. Happy pride!
Quan Yin at the Chuang Yen Monastery pours out tears for those suffering, while holding up prayer beads of protection. Elizabeth Lesser, of Cassandra Speaks, translates this gesture as “do no harm and take no shit.” Source.
Skillful Livelihood
As long as you’re not dealing in drugs, weapons, or trafficking other humans, the bigger challenge is relating wisely to the job your have (or seek) and the material possessions it affords.
I teach values-based communication strategy in business, digital contexts, game writing, and composition pedagogy workshops. The vast majority of people won’t remember the details, only how you made them feel.
This tip wasn’t taught by the Buddha. Rather, the historical Buddha kind of lived it. The lesson I’m extracting:
Build a personal brand and learn in public.
I know that word can be “ick” to some. I’m looking forward to this post in a masochistic kind of way.
Skillful Effort
“Effort” (sometimes translated as “energy”) doesn’t always need to be on “go” mode. It can take a lot of effort to let go.
Skillful effort isn’t “nirvana or bust.” Effort’s internal list pertains to guarding against greed, hatred, and delusion, and building up reserves of compassion and wisdom. Thich Nhat Hahn says skillful effort “is nourished by joy and interest. If your practice does not bring you joy, you are not practicing correctly.” For the class of 2024, a place to begin:
Befriend your body and become literate in its somatic messaging.
The mind muddles things. Your body knows best.
Skillful Mindfulness
“I brain hurt. How can I be mindful about mindfulness?”
Some traditions have what’s called a “heartmind” or “bodymind,” because mind is too cerebral for practice. There’s four different kinds of mindfulness:
Body: physical sensations. How do you feel? No, really. How do you feel?
Emotions: from feeling tones (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral) to clear emotions, what’s arising? Remember you are the feeler, not the feelings themselves.
Thought: Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. THIS WAS A GAME CHANGER FOR ME. And, like above, remember: you are the thinker, not the thoughts.
Mental objects: This is like belief infrastructure. Keep asking why and how, and the support beams will eventually show themselves. Why aren’t you good enough? Why does how much money you make matter? How can we make basic needs affordable for all? Then you can get wood, rebar, and concrete to build a stronger foundation or a window or a door or a new building altogether.
(Note: I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity once and do not know how to build infrastructure.)
Skillful Concentration
“Concentration” refers to returning to practice, returning to focus on your anchor, returning to the present moment. For that reason, some will align this with equanimity.
This is the time of our lives. We get to choose how to spend it. Fully invest in now on behalf of your future self.
Keep coming back to now. Now. Now. You are only ever now.
The people in the picture above are all different — now rising juniors, seniors, or graduates. No longer a collection of students in a workshop. I’m not their instructor anymore.
Everything changes…except your ability to change, the essence of the teachings, and the role of community.
Conclusion
I encourage my students to be themselves, bet on themselves, and find their people. Share your skills, embrace failure as a sign of trying something new, and avoid projecting ideas of “authenticity” onto others. The more you let people just be, the more you can just be yourself. And you are worth being.
The secret: after undergrad graduation, I had two more. I can swim laps between under-selling and over-valuing my academic and lived education, white-knuckled grip at each edge. “I am the uncarved block! I know nothing!” And “I am a queer, transracial adoptee with a PhD!”
As the years pass though, there are ever more frequent moments of floating on a pool noodle that reads: “well, whatever. Just be kind.”
And if “whatever, be kind,” is all my students get from our ten weeks together, I accept that. But the how can be tricky.
This list, and the teachers that delivered these lessons—academic, secular, Buddhist, animals, the environment—have shown me strategies to balance wisdom and compassion, even after we’ve parted. I hope it serves you.
Congratulations. I’m proud of you.
Takeaway Practice
Everyday Mindfulness
I teach writing, so I’ve got a writing assignment for you. As you mull your skills and how you want to show up in the world, reflect:
What would more ease in my life look and feel like? What would I be doing differently if I felt safe in—and loving toward—my body?
Upcoming Dates
The Adoptee and Foster Care Alumni Monthly Meditation is scheduled for June 23rd at 1PM PST. We’ll have a ~20-minute guided meditation, a short talk with some journaling or dialogic practice (small groups), and then Q/A for about an hour total. If you are interested, please sign up here. The link will be sent out the day before we meet. It’s free to join but restricted to adoptees and foster care alumni.
Recommended Reads From the Past Couple Weeks
Yung Pueblo’s Graduation Speech is a beautiful send-off to new grads at his former high school.
Clare Ashcraft’s Identities/Tension enacts my call to just try shit and have a decent time. She continues to astound with her range, wit, and humor.
Jay Michaelson’s I am Afraid for My Family gives a sobering view of the world, through the lens of a political journalist, mindfulness teacher, and parent.
Anya Kamenetz’s How Can We Bear to Leave Our Kids a World Like This? is almost a response to Jay’s work, and is a beautiful piece on equanimity and embodied compassion.
Finally, Maia Duerr’s DharmaStack is Here! is a list of dharma-inspired newsletters. I’m so grateful to be included.
Currently Reading
The Indifferent Stars Above, by Daniel James Brown
Friends who know me are often irked by my fascination with the conditions that lead to survival cannibalism. But uh, yeah. I’m currently mind blown by the historical detail and vivid descriptions of rampant wildlife and lush greenery.
Bio and Coaching Info
Logan Juliano, PhD (they/them) writes this here Substack and mentors via Light Hive Integration. The website has been in development for a while, so if you’re interested in private mentoring, go ahead and shoot me an email. [myfirstname]@lighthiveintegration.org.