Intentions And The Revealing Truth About Grocery Store Cabbage
And a quick game!
Hello! This post begins with a loose definition of what “skillful intention” means to me, moves into intentions behind this newsletter, and then a quick interview (it’ll only take you a few minutes). As always, the post concludes with a takeaway practice. But first,
Reminder!
On August 4th, from 4-6 PST, the Creative Coalition will begin with Takuma Okada’s writing/drawing game, Alone Among the Stars.
This group is intended to be a creative coalition across differences, with communal belonging in mind. It is not a skills-workshop in a traditional sense. We are here to create, appreciate, and practice mindfulness in community, not critique.
Here’s the sign-up link and a time zone converter! Come create with us. :)
Too Important to Forget
"The Art of Disappearing" by Naomi Shihab Nye kicks off this mini discussion on intention.
When they say Don't I know you?
say no.
When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.
If they say We should get together
say why?
It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.
When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.
Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.
That revealing truth I foreshadowed? It’s that some cabbage are people.
Don’t take it personally. Their intention, perhaps, wasn’t to hang out in the produce aisle. And remember, you too can become a cabbage.
Skillful Intention
I recently listened to a talk by Pamela Weiss, who reminded folks that mindfulness and meditation are TWO ways to practice. Skillful view and intention (and the other five paths) are equally valid foundations.
In my last post, I touched upon skillful view. Agency is the capacity to reframe and see again. I discussed the power of embodied action (doing): practice is why people rehearse for events, militaries conduct war games, and why cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies are so popular. What we say and do matters. Play stretches the imagination. All social justice is rooted in the capacity to imagine otherwise. Play for liberation.
As in Naomi Shihab Nye’s “The Art of Disappearing,” sometimes becoming a cabbage is the skillful thing. But her bigger point, of course, is why? What is the thing “too important to forget”?
“Intention” refers to the orientation of why you do things. Will [x] lead to…
The “bliss of blamelessness”? This is like harm reduction for other people. Make yourself as safe as possible…while knowing mistakes happen. Learn from them, implement change, but don’t sweat being human.
A simpler life? Sometimes the biggest upgrades are cuts. Minimize, simplify.
Circulated goodwill? Metta is a discipline. Start close to home.
Intentions aren’t resolutions. Straying is normal. Keep coming back to review and revise. Then, as the poem goes, decide what to do with your time.
Reviewing Intentions Behind This Newsletter
I’ll welcome my newest subscribers with a recap of the why, how, and who of this newsletter.
My aspiration is to help others feel more at home in their body. I do this through
demonstrating and cultivating emotional belonging,
analyzing external identification in society, culture, and politics, and
providing practical exercises for both.
I am not a licensed mental health provider. This is the point though: to publicly imagine a wider culture of care.
I include my own emotions to normalize difficult and challenging ones. Historically, fear and anger have hidden behind discourses on madness, on professionalism, on orderly adulthood. Emotions must be neatly packaged, legible, and clean—else you are the mad woman in the attic, the angry black woman, the dragon lady, the hysterical spinster, the jealous wife, the crazy woman tearing at yellow wallpaper, the sissy, the childless cat lady with a miserable life (notice a trend?).
Adoptees and QTBIPOC have always had a complex relationship to emotionality and belonging. To me, these groups are not separate and absolutely not the same. There’s a lot of history and social theorizing that could be done in this space and, I’m sure, I’ll venture into hot takes often.
But ultimately, my offerings aim to help others who feel like they’re emotionally “too much” navigate identities they feel are “complex.”
I hold monthly events—one for adoptees, the least represented group with which I share affinity, and the other to build a “Creative Coalition”—to foster community practice, solidarity, and become cabbages.
On that note,
The Creative Coalition
The Creative Coalition is designed to foster a sense of belonging through creative play. We will explore mindfulness, deal with inner critics, and build connections.
Let me give you a taste of what I mean by “play.” This example is intended to help you slow down and reflect. (Alone Among the Stars is much more about world-building and exploration, but the journaling and sharing will be similar.)
It will only take about
Three Minutes
Originally “The Inquiracle—The Interview Oracle” by Patrick Buechner over at The Soloist.
How to Play
1: Check the time.
2: Use the first and second digits of the minutes. For example, if it’s 2:00, you would use 0 and 0.
3: Match these numbers to the questions provided in the tables. Interpret the combined result as a question to reflect on.
4: Respond within three minutes.
5: Debrief. How did it go?
Example
Quinn sees this prompt at 3:03 PM. “Misunderstood” and “Book, Movie, Song.” They interpret this as a book they did not understand. They write,
What book did you not understand? (Interpreted question)
When I was in college, I was assigned to read A Clockwork Orange. I didn’t read it. For the essay, I wrote about a clockmaker who enjoyed oranges. The professor gave me a ‘C’ for creativity. (Response)
I haven’t thought about that in years. Ha! That’s cute. (Reflect)
Just go with what arises: serious honesty, flash fiction. The intention is to orient the mind, engage, and debrief.
Takeaway Practice
Regarding intentions: What’s your why?
I learned an exercise studying brand identity called “the 5 why’s.” This exercise can reveal underlying motivations and help align your actions with your core values.
Why are you building this/doing this?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
My addition: flip this. If [x] is my deepest intention, do these other things along the way get there…
Without potential blame?
In a way that maximizes friendliness?
In a simple, easeful manner?
Solid Reads from the Past Couple Weeks
Ahalya Wise’s “Birds, Bees and Breakfasts” is just so serene and cozy. I love the way she sees things.
Clifford Stumme’s “The True Difference Between Sci-Fi and Fantasy That No One Talks About” is an elegant consideration of the two genres.
Louisa Wah’s “Grief is Fermentation and I’m Turning into Kimchi” provides a beautiful take on ambiguous loss.
Maia Duerr’s “Emergency Toolkit for Times of Despair” is a wonderful and approachable guide to getting through rough patches.
Noah Berlatsky’s “People Think Kamala Harris is Inauthentic for the Same Reasons They Thought Disco Was Inauthentic” shares my disdain for social policing, calling it racist and sexist.
Bio
Logan Juliano, PhD (they/them) is a mindful integration mentor offering 1:1 sessions and group workshops. They teach writing at the University of California, Los Angeles and hold an MA, PhD in Performance Studies.
Very thoughtful. I love the poem.